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Dopamine

by Billy Puntton

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1.
Bleach 02:36
Living each day like it might be my last will probably get me killed I'll do it one day I'm not getting fucked up or having a party I'm sitting in my room with bleach cocktail and I don't wanna talk to all the people but I am the loner in the group that' me myself and I'm not scared of car crashes break ups or getting a job no I'm scared of my mind I stay up as late as I possibly can to keep me from the thoughts that are in my head and I'm not scared of the dark I'm scared of myself I'm not scared of the dark I'm scared of myself I'm not scared of the dark I'm scared of myself living each day like it might be my last is probably not a good idea but I'm just so sick of not going ten minutes without a thought of suicide and I just can't take the social pressure but I am the loner in the group that's me myself and I'm not scared of cancer from the aluminium in this beer can or my phone battery I'm am a stain on the kitchen bench of better living easily wiped out with not that much effort and a bit of water washed down the basin until my creator comes and fucks up again I'm not scared of the dark I'm scared of myself I'm not scared of the dark I'm scared of myself I'm not scared of the dark I'm scared of myself I'm not scared of the dark I'm scared of myself
2.
Ode To 02:21
We smiled and we laughed when we vandalised that car in twenty-thirteen we bathed in Nobbys Beach with an old bar of soap we slept on the floor it was perfect And I'll never forget Glenn Innes or Gywns house such a warm fire place it didn't dampen the mood when the party was stopped so we could watch The Wizzard of Oz Hundreds of kilometres made shorter by our conversational motifs annoying Blake Warry and Dane's looking worried because we lost Thomas And I'll never forget the feeling of strangers singing along a nothing band from the Harbour feels like nothing could go wrong And never forget fucking forget Gwyn and Jerry in Glenn Innes Corey Joel in Muswellbrook Mitch, Dom and Jake in Newcastle and the 140 boys in Grafton The Yak Rock in Byron was okay but Lismore with Salami was fucking better and the Coffs all ages scene was sick but they hated us at Guttermouth And I'll never forget the feeling of strangers singing along a nothing band from the Harbour feels like nothing could go wrong
3.
When I turn on my tv there's nothing I see except for war and rape and child abuse with a g rating We sit absorb and we believe that we need to see to watch the news is our responsibility our democratic right But has anyone thought that just maybe watching the news fucks our brain chemistry who picks the stories that we see like a die hard film with too many sequels The world seems fucked and I will not watch it burn to the ground through a coloured box see the world how I wanna see I'll watch The Simpsons every night cos Life's short and I wanna live it I won't worry myself with the world cos I'm depressed as it is When I turn and check the clock it's nearly 3 in the afternoon I'd better go and watch TV I find out Leonard Nimoy's died but no one cares cos there's a blue dress on the internet that's currently trending It seems like every week a celebrity dies and a nobody sings go watch the news have no fun live a miserable life repeat the process You're born you dream for frivolous things that you don't mean I'm born i dream for real things like insanity cos Life's taught and you are a student the class are all in uniform aiming for the highest score And I'm the kid up back of the room headphones in and my head on the desk I dream I feel I'm diagnosed with A.D.D creative syndrome Take these pills you'll be one of us just fall into line stop acting so fucked just sit down and please shut-up there's no industry for your brand of punk the world seems fucked and I will not watch it burn to the ground through a coloured box see the world how I wanna see I'll watch The Simpsons every night cos Life's short and I wanna live it I won't myself with the world cos I'm depressed as it is
4.
As I lay in my train seat bed a Bindle of bad memories and swag of regrets I've seen all this country we played every state we drove with no rego across the desert Would I trade it all in for a higher IQ fuck no just pass me the booze Izak is tired and Jet is Frinchot thirteen hundred Ks is a mighty stretch the gig it is small but the room it fits twelve three fifty Australian seems pretty good Some guys grab my dick and he licks my neck so I stole that fuckers goon Would I trade it all in for a white picket fence Fuck no that's just not livin' Well I've been molested fucked over a little beaten up overtired and angry and countless times drunk a country isn't land it's the people with the republic of punk is where I'm livin' Would I trade it all for a higher IQ fuck no just pass me the booze fuck no just pass me the booze fuck no just pass me the booze
5.
Mirtazapine 03:19
Live in fear my whole life of something that might never come take some Mirtazapine to change my personality And I think I'm cracking up I don't wanna live no more I just can't go on and I think you're breaking up the signal to the child helpline it isn't very strong But I can't complain they say we live in the lucky country well what if my luck has run out they say I should enjoy cos folks have got it worse oh knowing that doesn't cheer me up And I'm running thin stretched out like a motorway from Melbourne to Brisbane I'm tired all the time paranoid my friends they hate me if i had any at all Well I'm cracking up I'm cracking up I don't wanna live no more I just can't go on You're breaking up You're breaking up The signal to the child helpline it isn't very strong But I should know better I'm an adult I should know what to do should I handle these things so responsibly or truthful Give into my feelings of self-hatred but I can't complain cos we live in the lucky country I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine we live in the lucky country I'm fine
6.
1996 01:57
Well I've been on the edge since nineteen ninety-six my friends say that I'm antisocial but I'm just sick of their shit they reminisce on old days they only make complaints and if that's being normal what's it mean that I'm depressed And when our leaders are products in a global shopping mall bought by tax evaders with a synergetic cause it's illegal to protest against those who make the laws men and women for the people yeah right fucking sure So I don't keep up with Kim and I avoid small talk we're at the deep end of the think tank and you are fucking drowning
7.
Am I narcissistic or am I just autistic A.D.D is what they told me with sensory deprivation disorder it's done wonders for my self -esteem I caught depression from hearing the doctor say your brain files things differently you'll never be as smart as you dream You won't go to the moon so take these pills and try to get through life I'm feeling that I hate myself but it could be a cover up I beat myself down all the time to prevent an obese head it could've been worse growing up I had a roof over my head but i can only see things completely from my own perspective Am I narcissistic or am I just autistic A.D.D is what they told me with sensory deprivation disorder it's done wonders for my self -esteem I caught depression from hearing the doctor say your brain files things differently you'll never be as smart as you dream Am I narcissistic or am I just autistic A.D.D is what they told me with sensory deprivation disorder it's done wonders for my self -esteem I caught depression from hearing the doctor say your brain files things differently you'll never be as smart as you dream
8.
Faberge Egg 02:54
Like a Faberge egg protected with a layer of glad-wrap fragile and beautiful easily breakable completely irreplaceable in Christian faith an egg symbolises new life but I don't think we want Jesus in our room at night like a boogie man or the monster in your closet like a boogie man or the monster in your closet And I tried my very hardest to save you from yourself but you're just too fucking stubborn and I was selfish with my time And I can see that you're getting tired of the grind to five and those sexist pigs at work but you won't seek help You're just too damn proud of your health And I tried my very hardest to save you from yourself you're just too fucking stubborn and I was selfish with my time and I won't forget your face it's nailed to my brain like a tumour that's pulsating it takes my dopamine away and And I tried my very hardest to save you from yourself you're just too fucking stubborn and I was selfish with my time and I was selfish with my time and I was selfish with my time And I don't wanna die anymore

credits

released July 18, 2017

All music and lyrics were written and performed by Billy Puntton. Recorded, mixed and Mastered by Lachlan McDonald with additional mastering by Michael Ferfoglia. Cover art by Michael Cross and logo art by Laura Mardon. Distributed by Atomic Brain Records.

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Billy Puntton Sydney, Australia

I make sad angry folk punk music that's usually about anxiety, ADHD and depression.

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